I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Someone came in the potted fern
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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