So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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