Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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