the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
