i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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