don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
