How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
