Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
