dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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