I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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