I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
