Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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