First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I've blown a few things in my day
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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