i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
