Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize