I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
