I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
