i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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