i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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