What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
