Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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