Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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