Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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