btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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