He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
