I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Someone came in the potted fern
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
