i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize