i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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