i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
