time to smoke my breakfast
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
