Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize