i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
