Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
