I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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