I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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