Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
