Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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