Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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