Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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