That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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