dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
