im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You may now shotgun with the bride
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
