Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
