It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Randomize
