You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize