ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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