seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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