The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
