Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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