It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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