i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
