This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
