So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
