then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize