i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize