gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
