I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
