i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
