I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
