and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
