NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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