Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
