what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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