i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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