at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
