cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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