Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
