if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
