Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My liver just broke up with me...
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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