sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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