I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
