Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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